2.25.18 // & some days are you tv marathoning “four weddings”, a (you guessed it) wedding gameshow (who throws the best, the #1, the greatest (you guessed it) wedding), while the boyf you’re in love with dozes in the computer chair he broke, but it’s just as perfect anyway, next to you in your twin-size bed in your too-small room where the walls are completely covered in your (you’ll call it,) “decor” like the prayer flags hanging loose & 3rd grade art. See, some days are rainy, ,, on again / off again but stagnant in their overcast clouds blush bluish grey here overtop their deep white core beautiful dread & dreary. There’s been a heavy fatigue that grows to bone weariness in me, past me ,towards an utter exhaustion pressing me into the sheets, threatening,,, because,, there, ,,I do not know what else comes. I’m afraid to find out. ////
Anxiety is a stoning in times square with a red light in your face blinking RECORD.