,, In all disorder, a secret order. — Carl Jung

//a null-god, explained

I pledge my allegiance to the absurd, of the
primeval mechanics of phenomenon. & to the
lawless, for which we must be; one soul in
transduality, multi-reality’d, with experience &
autonomy for all.

-Amber Renee

I am a proud & free-from-worry atheist. I smile at the word. Why? The pride I have found is unbound. Faith comes in a multitude of ways, & I have discovered mine in a no-god. //I’ve spent serious time shedding the layers of influence religion had put on me. It took work. I clung to it: my religion, the organization, its discipline. I found difficulty, that is: fear, in abandoning what had shaped my morals, occupied my Sundays & scared me into obedience. “But Amber, that’s not all religion is!”  Well then, let’s say I found difficulty, that is: fear, in giving up the closest relationship I’d been told I was supposed to cultivate. God. Yahweh. Jehovah the highest !!


So what happened to little Jesus-loving Amber? She listened to her heart. & her heart told her to listen past her self, past the mouths of humans, & to tap into the mystic world of integrated imagination, introspection & inner-knowledge; & all to take part in what lay hidden inside that universal realm. To ask: what’s beyond?

In Jungian psychology there exists more than just the conscious, sub-conscious, & unconscious. There’re collective parts of the psyche, he claims, that are shared throughout time, individuality & space. The extensions of these each our own selves give rise to models for what earthly existence is. They work like clues. Consider instincts: The predispositions, or reflexes that we are born innately with, usually to keep us alive. From an infant’s unlearned knowledge of mom’s breast milk, to their cute little noses: they were built to attract care & survive. // Past that, however, could be said that even our countless stories from cultures across the globe, the ones men, woman, & all variations have played around with forever, are examples of all-knowledge being told orally, artistically, or written down. This is almost fact.

I am a child of the waters, born to crawl forth & take my many steps towards an ultimate evolution. & so are you. How? Because where body stops, mind continues /to grow & mature through this life. Is that not true? Our archaic need to want; want of answers, want for material, want of stability, is our downfall. See,

want is the source of all worry the way expectation is the root of all heartache. I did not destroy my need to want in destroying god. //Like the way a want for heaven has worried the world to torture; I have become saturated in misery, waiting for the end of absurdity.heretic

//But what happens when there is no supposed to? No reason?? No god! Or, more accurately: a no-god. Better yet: a null-god ,, as in cancelled out like believing caused my godlessness in the way that zero causes zero when divided by itself. (*)

Instability is universal nature; everything in constant friction. The atom vibrates waiting to move an electron.

So, was anything ever really stable in this quaking “world”? & what does that mean for our return? Behold! We bow to masters. Tremble before God. Capitalize his name, sweetly. & if not…. ohh, to take His name in vain! (Our invented symbolic categorization system is very important to Mr. You Know Who.) //Words. Letters. Symbols. Attached. (to. Noise. From some. Vocal cord’s. Vibrations.) A miracle!

We ache for absolution.

I believe in the universal ONE, which is you & which is the not-yous, all reverted back: the bellybutton inverted towards the warmth of the womb, a place where when rewound takes us back to the unicellular. What incubates us?



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