Feb 1: a spoken word (set to) music & its “essay” explanation

Hiya, & welcome to this little listen-in. Amber Renee here, pretty sick, very sleepy, but a lot eager to show you this lyrical piece of my soul. Both the poem & music were written a couple weeks ago in a haze of trance & mania; the piece itself is a bit of a mouthful. The words are… Surprise! another dream poem! Imagery driven & riddled with symbolics. //No worries though. I’m here to dutifully decode the clues & make what sense of me that I can with an essay I brain-babied together in two days.

So here are your choices:

Either, listen to the ~6 minute piece first, & follow that with a read through of the creative essay which dissects it below. Or, you could skip the listening for now, & instead continue reading the essay so maybe better understanding the clues, listen in for them later. Hmm.. (I’m partial towards the latter, obviously.) Either way, ,,I invite you to listen to your hearts content. Sway to it. Understand it, relate it to your journey. What does it say to you? I’ve been told my music would be good to meditate to. You wanna try that theory out for me?

In any case, I hope you take in what I’m about to say & write.



click the play button below to listen now 
or, come back & listen later!


[ Quanta , Phenomena ,  the “Essay”  explanation ]

  by Amber Renee

Ping. // It’s the tinkle of bells & the pang of a single beat; the music starts up quick, & in an unhurried kind of way. Yes, it’s going to be that kind of piece. A few sparks of some tinkering light noise acts to signify an empty voided out place. How do we know? It is the one that a voice, mine, is softly speaking about. It’s easy, as I paint with words a place full of everything possible: Nothing & all of it at the same time. The poem’s words focus first on the quanta little subatomic particles which, when built up upon each other form its phenomena counterpart, then: physicality.

For example, I muse,, , a shooting star. // I mean, is a shooting star not a worthy topic for considering down to its individual chemical compounds or make-up? For example, are twin stars possible twins down to it as much as perfection’s ability? Or would the spooky entangled fold in… fear? (What’s in a name?)

Entanglement is a quantum (or, small) physics thing. A kind of freaky phenomena where two or more happenings co-exist as the same occurrence at the same time, though they may be separated by space & dimension (source).

There is a mission in my bones.

What’s this? //Well, it seems to have something to do with… what? a lighthouse, & a girl. Her head & the seagulls around her. If you know, you know. & if you don’t, it’s an allusion to a prior piece written & musically paired, now taken down until further notice. It’ll all make sense one day. Stay tuned. //

What follows is a down the rabbit hole twist where I take the ephemeral untouched & parallel it with the physical organic, then I take it to matter dreaming. Dreaming? Physical, organic? It’s true the words become visceral. The descriptions become monologue-esque. ,, unsteady goes the plot. // Is this a reliable narrative? I take you through the chest arteries. I take you through the feeling of having a brain (like cosmic moon) ruling over your minuscule tide & understanding. There is a test mentioned, a vision like spark of remembrance. –& this I pull directly from myself, my nights of recalling the dream from within a dream itself.

The ignition revs!

This is perhaps closer. // Perhaps the “quanta” that continues through the piece is if you think about our carefully ordered alphabet code shaping sound cipher into meaning & vision. Perhaps the visual translation constructed in the mind’s theatre, comprised of each letter, word, meaning, is a type of physical phenomenon happening in your head-space. (Get it?) // Indulge me this momentary thought: I wonder if the music would also be considered a phenomenon? I say this through a two-fold moment in the music. A sound, intangible become solid static veil in the eardrum & one to be passed through. What I’m saying is that where some might hear shallow, maybe just haphazardly & crescendo-ing lullaby only, others might feel finally a curtain shielding something. Something you want to see. Ask, & you’ll break through. I believe. I believe….

Well, then there’s no time suddenly because I’m onto walking tour of your innermost body works; see, we have crossed the boundary where feeling more than knowing. Our theta waves become slower, longer, deeper delta. // This is barrier bookmarked musically to symbolize our transition. Deeper we go. Deeper, into the Big Dream.

BIG DREAM: A mother with her infant. A cave lit only by its own heated core. Gypsies imagined, a friend among them: Who? Suddenly, a man’s disembodied & angry voice. The sands of time realized. Veins that falter. Then, that newborn little girl is handed to me. & I let go the heaviness in my palms for her. & it’s quick. The crescendo returns. The crescendo returns. The veil must be crossed. The crescendo returns.

The infant speaks like the prodigal child. She is wise, dark, fat & makes me feel curious. // What is this scenery about choppy seas, a lighthouse, & a storm? These are not accidents.

Light,, in a dream indicates the personal spirit within. A child,, suggests there is a new aspect of yourself beginning to emerge. Water,, is known to signify a meeting with the unconscious.

(*) Synchronicity? // “…the spooky entangled…”

The child’s crib morphs into that scene, the lighthouse poem; a dream personified. It feels like completion. She praises the journey. Mine?


Ending: “So the PAINTER changes paintbrush from his omnipotent view.” (To continue another story? in another color? on the same canvas? or a parallel one? possibly the lighthouse dream? possibly a new one?) “& the PAINTER is god,” I claim. “& the PAINTING is you. & me. A memory of dream.”

Q. If god had but one color (the FIRST color) to work with in order to create the first dawn of Existence A Day 1 , then wouldn’t all each individual creation made be just that first GOD color shadowed with more GOD color to masquerade as another shade? We are god,

be well.

Thanks for reading/listening. COMMENTS WELCOME!!

PS. don’t forget to drop an email below for updates about me & my work, be it poetry, music, philosophy or psych.
Let’s journey together.

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